About Me — ThatGirlYouMightKnow
I’m a normally abnormal girl.
Early life started a little rough.
I was born in 1987 in Belfast Northern Ireland, to two wonderful parents. My mum went into labour with me at seven months, and the doctors tried to prepare her for the worst-case scenario. She refused to accept the fact that I may not survive the birth, and even though the birth was traumatic for her, she never gave up. She says she knew I was going to make it, I often think it was her strength that made my survival possible. I was incubated straight away because I was so small, I weighed in at just under 3 lbs. It didn’t take long for my weight to drop down to 2 lb, unfortunately, I had some setbacks. The hospital staff asked my parents to sign paperwork to give permission for a blood transfusion, they refused at that time as the risks of HIV and AIDS were still very high. I remember the first time I heard this story, I was horrified that they took the risk by denying treatment. Although as an adult I understand how difficult it would have been for them. Luckily every day I got a little stronger, and after a while, I was released from the hospital.
I was bullied all through school
School life wasn’t easy for me, I was small for my age, and bullies seen me as an easy target. I guess you could say I was the runt of the litter among my peers. In primary school, it was a silly “mean girl” type of name-calling. At the time it was really difficult for me to deal with, but these bullies were purring cats in comparison to the ones in high school. During my first year, I was bullied by girls a year older than me, because I had the audacity to say no to them when they demanded I clean up their lunch trays. That was the day they waited for me to leave the canteen and choked me until I nearly passed out. Every day they found me at lunch to either hit me, or make me believe they were going to hit me (they enjoyed seeing my distress). They eventually slipped up and hit me in front of a teacher and got suspended. Other girls in my year bullied me too, it was mostly verbal but there was a lot of physical violence too. I had a few good friends helping me through it, and my English teacher always had my back.
I started self-harming.
I started self-harming at the age of 14, I somehow made it a logical decision in my head. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self it wasn’t worth it. Unfortunately, there is no undo button. I self-harmed for years, every time things got tough, I lifted a razor. For 15 years I hurt myself, no bully or ex could hurt me as much as I could hurt myself. I turned into my own bully. When I ended up in the hospital, however, I knew I had to make a change. I needed to stop letting my depression and anxiety drive me to harm myself.
Things have got better.
I worked hard to change my reaction to stress, anxiety, and depression. I started seeing friends more, if I was having a bad day I got into a habit of lifting the phone instead of the blade. I have wonderful friends and family, they make navigating through this crazy life bearable.
“I found that with depression, one of the most important things you could realize is that you're not alone.” — Dwayne Johnson
Last few noteworthy things about me
I love to write poetry, it has always had a way of calming me when life becomes too much. I love photography and photo editing. The most unusual hobby I have is paranormal investigating. I joined a paranormal team founded by my best friend and her parents, about 3 years ago. It has connected me with a lot of wonderful and interesting people. I will be doing a full post about my paranormal experiences in the future.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
